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About this submission

This began as a challenge submission a few months back. But I've come back to it since, and would love to hear what anybody thinks. What's working? What's not? Does it manage to connect you to the emotion of the characters without feeling too on the nose? Where does it feel too writerly? Are the scenes long enough, too long? Does it build tension where it needs to? What are your thoughts about the end?

While I would love to see this short produced, I'm also thinking it might work well as a graphic novel and would love to hear opinions either way.

SS
Stephen Schuyler
Creator
Baltimore, MD, USA
Stephen Schuyler grew up in Baltimore City. In 2020, he won the Short Script category of the Austin Film Festival Screenwriting Competition. He was also named as a 2020 Saul Zaentz Innovation Fund fellow through Johns Hopkins and was awarded a production grant as part of the fellowship. His short films have received grants from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, Panavision, and the National Hispanic Foundation for the Arts, among others. His films have screened at the Baltimore Museum of Art (BMA), Austin Film Festival, and Sarasota Film Festival as well as other festivals and venues.

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