The tale of an ordinary single person on Valentine's day.This is a second draft and I was struggling to find the right tone for this story. I'm curious to hear if people think I found it or not!

A power outage brings a new freedom as well as danger to a young explorer.

I took this challenge very literally and wrote about my actual family. This is the opening scene which would set up a show about a family who sacrifices to send their kids to private school even though they can't afford it. Because of this most of their possessions are either generic or second hand. The father creates great stories to tell his kids about how the things they have are extremely rare and are the best in the world. His son chooses to believe these tales and often lives in a rich imaginative world which the show would move in and out of.

New to writing and this challenge served as a great way to give me some focus to write a 1st draft of a short. Any and all feedback appreciated!

WORK IN PROGRESS - I'm hoping to get some feedback from some fresh eyes on this. I would like to know what's working and what's not. Second half score is still temp.Log Line: After suffering a home invasion Xavier installs a security system, instead of making him feel safe, it introduces him into someone else's world and only increases his anxiety.

I came up with this idea after my home was burglarized and wanted to capture the uneasy and paranoid feelings which followed. Hoping to find out if this is working as a thriller and if it is keeping your interest. Also any ideas on how I can shorten it would be great. Thanks in advance for any feedback!

WORK IN PROGRESS - This is the second time submitting for feedback after making some changes. I think it's getting close but I am looking forward to hear about what is and is not working. Log Line: After suffering a home invasion Xavier installs a security system, instead of making him feel safe, it introduces him into someone else's world and only increases his anxiety.

I came up with this idea after my home was burglarized and wanted to capture the uneasy and paranoid feelings which followed. Hoping to find out if this is working as a thriller and if it is keeping your interest. This is the second version I'm posting after incorporating the feedback which I've received. Looking to shoot this next month so thanks in advance for any feedback!