Hello! This is a short screenplay I worked on after being given the starting point of 'two sisters moving a sofa across a city' by a filmmaker whose work I admire. I keep tweaking and redrafting it and just can't seem to get comfortable with it and before I completely throw it to the side I thought I'd ask for some feedback from the community, to see whether I can turn it into something worth making.
I think I'm getting a bit lost with the vibe, intention and message so would be really grateful for some feedback on what stands out (if anything) and what might be best to focus on/work with. Thanks in advance!