About this submission

This is a first revision on a short that I am hoping to film in the not too distant future. For me, there's a delicate balance between reality and cinematic narrative. While I need to convey enough information to continue to drive the story forward, I never want the piece to feel excessively plotted or expositional. What I'm really looking to find out here, beyond any feedback you feel like sharing with regards to the work, which areas of the story feel too much like a movie, which run too long, or which could be expanded.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my work, and I look forward to hearing what everyone has to say.

SS
Stephen Schuyler
Creator
Baltimore, MD, USA
My wife and I are semi-nomadic filmmakers and photographers mostly based out of Baltimore City.

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