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The attached are the final six pages of Invincible Summer. I'm submitting them for feedback on the technical aspects of how I laid out the voiceover, action, and dialogue. Much of the story content might seem strange since you won't have the rest of the script as context, so you don't have to comment on the substance unless you want to. I'm more focused on whether I've over-directed on the page again or presented things in a format or style that doesn't work well.

I should explain that the voiceover here is set up in a scene that isn't included as Summer writing her college essay. That is, her voiceover is meant to be what she is writing in her college essay.

DG
Darren Greninger
Creator
Arlington, VA, USA
I am an aspiring screenwriter.

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